To Be Loved
by Alana Genavee
Summary: Brandon keeps trying to get closer to Callie, but she keeps pushing him away. What happens when they decide to try and push each other out of their minds? At what lengths will they go to, to forget each other? Read along as Brandon learns to love a broken girl, and a broken girl learns to be loved.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own The Fosters, only the storyline & OCs.

Starts off at 1x05 after Brandon picks Callie up from her disaster date.

**Callie**

Brandon's eyes were filled with anger and some other emotions I could quite put my hand on… "Brandon, we can't do this. There's no way around the rules. I can't risk Jude's happiness." Jude was happy here. He was comfortable with the Fosters as much as I hate to admit it. He loved having Jesus and Brandon around; they taught it boyish things that I couldn't. He was beginning to form a bond with Mariana; they would play games and Mariana liked to dress him up. He even felt comfortable around Stef & Lena; he had even slipped up and called them mom a few times. The smiles on their face were undeniable when they heard him call them that. I knew I shouldn't allow him to get this close to them. This wasn't a permanent home; we were only here until Bill found us a new foster home. As much as they acted like it, the Fosters weren't our family. They never would be. But we couldn't help it; they had a way or making us feel as if we were at home with them.

"Callie, you can't deny that there's something between us. I feel it and I know you do too. You've always tried so hard to make sure Jude's happy but what about your happiness? What about mine? You can't deprive us of our happiness…" His eyes were begging and pleading with me. I shook my head. "You think that I can't, but I at least have to try. I can't do this Jude. I, I can't… I can't do this to me, Brandon. I have to at least try." I whispered I'm sorry to him as I pushed passed him to enter the house. He stood on the porch for a while, he looked hurt… Broken, even. He came inside after Stef called him in for dinner.

At the dinner table, I was seated between Jude & Brandon. The tension was thick in the air, however I felt as if only me and Brandon could feel it. While we were all eating, the moms were asking everyone how their day was, Jesus was bothering Mariana, and Jude was going on about some project he was doing at school with his friend Connor. I'm glad he's making friends. He's a sweet boy he deserves a chance at a normal life, he's still young. Brandon was trying to make small talk with me but I was giving him one word answers. I was glad when dinner ended. I quickly washed the dishes and headed to my room. Mariana was spending the night at one of her friend's house so I had the room to myself. I kind of needed it today. I laid down on the floor with my head on a little fluffy pillow staring at the ceiling. I just needed some time to myself.

Someone was passing by my room when they stopped and stood at my doorway. I stood up hoping it wouldn't be who I thought it was. Thankfully, it wasn't. Jesus walked in and sat in Mariana's bed which wasn't too far from where I was on the floor. "Hey, you okay?" He sounded genuinely concerned. I laughed for a second, "Nah, why'd you ask?" He looked at me strangely as if I couldn't tell the way I've been acting. "Uh, you were acting weird at dinner. You were really quiet. I mean you're always quiet but it was a different kind of quiet… You were giving one word answers to everyone and I don't know. I just noticed something off." For a kid with ADD, he pays attention pretty well. "Um… yeah. There's just been a lot on my mind lately. Don't worry, I'm fine." I gave him a small smile to reassure him.

"Oh, alright. If you ever wanna talk about anything I'm here for you, Cals. You're just as much as my sister as Mariana is." One thing for sure, the Fosters know how to make you feel like you belong. "Thank you, Jesus. I appreciate it, a lot."

**Brandon**

I'm not exactly sure what Callie wants. Some days, she makes me feel as if we actually have a real chance to be something; but other days, she completely shuts me out as if I'm a stranger. I'm not exactly sure what to do anymore with Callie. I just needed time to myself. On my own. I need to get out of my own shoes. I need to feel as if I'm in a different world.

I called up an old friend of mine. I haven't really been in contact with him lately. It didn't really seem that important to keep up with him. I made plans to go and see him late tonight. I know it'll be hard getting out without my moms knowing, but it's worth the risk.

- Later that night –

"Yo Jacob, I'm outside!" I called him real quick before I left the car. I surprisingly got away from the moms really easy. I suppose they've had a rough day so they were extremely tired. I walked inside Jacob's house, we talked for a few minutes before he led me to the guest house. Jacob's parents were extremely wish, he could have literally everything he wanted besides the one thing he wanted. He could have every single material thing but all he wanted was his family. His parents were always out somewhere for business or whatever, he hardly saw them, so it was as if he lived alone.

In the guest house, Jacob had his little version of a sanctuary. He had a few sexy girls with some nice bodies, weed, pills, drugs, and his boys. After Jacob reached a certain age, he started to turning to these things to help heal him from missing his parents. After a while, these things began to numb out the feelings he felt about his family.

I used to think that Jacob was a coward for what he did. He was growing older; he should be realizing that drugs and all of this shit aren't good for him. But he wasn't. As he got older, he got more and more involved in it. I never understood why he didn't just talk to his parents about it. Tell them about how he was feeling; ask them to be around him more or to take him with them. They have the money, they could afford it. Why not? Why get into drugs, pills, and alcohol? What good was that going to do for him? It might numb his pain for a while, but it's a temporary distraction. Once you sobered up, your feelings hit you all at once. Isn't that worse? I always thought I'd never understand why people do these things. Most of the time, the answer has to do with love or family. Usually, those things come hand in hand. If someone genuinely cares and loves for you, that's your family. Blood doesn't matter. I know it was hard to find your family, but it happens. You just have to keep trying. But the thing was… I have a family. I have my two moms, Jesus, Mariana, and even if my dad isn't the best; he loves me too. But I still felt as if something was missing. And that one missing thing was completely screwing me over, I could have all the love in the world, but without that one missing piece; I was nothing. I started to understand why these people act like this. Maybe they too, are missing that one piece. Without it they're going crazy and they can't handle it on their own. I soon realized what my missing piece was.

My missing piece is Jude and Callie.


	2. IMPORTANT

Dear readers,

I'm sorry for the inconvenience, but I have decided to restart the story in a way. My storyline basically remains the same, but I'm beginning to write a bit different so my old chapters were bothering me quite a bit. Chapter 1 is up and has been rewritten. It is basically the same as the old chapter 1 but better written. Oh! Also, I have just started freshmen year in high school, so it's a bit hectic. Also, my birthday is next weekend, we have relatives visiting from all over, there's many weddings this month in my family, also my house is in renovation. So, altogether, this month is pretty crazy for me. So I'll try to update as I can. I'm sorry if updates are late or whatever! Enjoy my chapter 1 rewrite, I've started writing the chapter 2 rewrite, but at this rate I just want to sleep the whole damn weekend! It's so hard getting any sleep with everything going on. But I'll try to get a chapter 2 rewrite up this weekend, along with a chapter 3. OH also, would you like shorter chapters... say 1k words below... but more frequent updates? Or about maybe 2k words and less frequent chapters? Leave a comment and let me knooooow! Thank you lovelies :*


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